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- <text id=91TT0076>
- <title>
- Jan. 14, 1991: Would It Fool The Family Cat?
- </title>
- <history>
- TIME--The Weekly Newsmagazine--1991
- Jan. 14, 1991 Breast Cancer
- </history>
- <article>
- <source>Time Magazine</source>
- <hdr>
- VIDEO, Page 60
- Would It Fool the Family Cat?
- </hdr><body>
- <p>The networks learn from their mistakes, and learn, and
- learn...
- </p>
- <p>By RICHARD ZOGLIN
- </p>
- <p> It was a disappointing fall for the Big Three networks, but
- they learned some valuable lessons. For example: while most
- viewers like cop shows and enjoy a good song, they definitely
- have no patience for singing cops. Also: even well-done family
- sitcoms, like NBC's Parenthood, are apt to get lost in the
- current oversupply of cute TV clans. And pouring big money into
- shows to compete with CBS's Sunday-night powerhouse 60 Minutes
- is a fruitless exercise. NBC, at least, seems to have learned
- that lesson: in February it will introduce Sunday Best, a
- shamelessly cost-efficient variety show that will feature
- highlights from the previous week's NBC shows.
- </p>
- <p> But the nice thing about network programming is that you
- never stop learning. This month brings the first big wave of
- midseason replacement shows, and a whole new series of lessons
- can be gleaned from the January crop:
- </p>
- <p> The cold war is over; spies should go home. Dylan Del'Amico,
- the protagonist of ABC's new series Under Cover, seemed to have
- grasped this when he left his field assignment for a CIA-type
- intelligence agency (known here as The Company) and moved to
- a desk job in Washington. But those overseas assignments just
- keep on coming--both for Dylan and for his wife, another
- ex-agent having a hard time retiring. First, Dylan must thwart
- a former KGB chief who is plotting to assassinate a popular
- Soviet reformer. Then, in a hot-off-the-presses story line, he
- and his colleagues race to stop a renegade Iraqi colonel from
- launching a biological weapon against Israel. There are folks
- back at the agency to contend with as well: a new generation
- of computer jocks who disdain the old-timers, and a slimy
- acting director who longs for a new Stalin in the Soviet Union
- to "give us our enemy back."
- </p>
- <p> Well, it might at least give us our spy entertainments back.
- Under Cover, the latest effort from China Beach creators
- William Broyles Jr. and John Sacret Young, updates the cold-war
- thriller by turning it into a sort of globe-trotting
- thirtysomething. When these sensitive agents aren't having
- moralistic arguments over who should or shouldn't be sent on
- a dangerous assignment, they are worrying about who's minding
- the kids. Anthony Denison (Crime Story) and Linda Purl are
- agreeable enough as the spy couple, but the romance founders on
- dialogue like "You know, I didn't realize you were a blonde
- until two weeks into our first mission together." Their new
- mission will be a tough one.
- </p>
- <p> Big stars cannot redeem bad sitcoms. This season has already
- brought us Burt Reynolds sleepwalking through the overrated CBS
- comedy Evening Shade. Now Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal have
- set back their careers about 10 years (three for her; seven for
- him) by fronting another grueling CBS entry, Good Sports.
- Fawcett plays Gayle Roberts, a veteran anchor for an all-sports
- network run by a Ted Turner-like mogul. O'Neal is "Downtown"
- Bobby Tannen, an ex-football star fallen on hard times, who is
- brought in to be her on-air partner. Their bickering,
- Moonlighting-style relationship is signaled none too subtly in
- the opening cast credits: "Farrah Fawcett vs. Ryan O'Neal."
- </p>
- <p> TV shows set in TV newsrooms represent a low ebb of creative
- imagination, but Good Sports may set a record for ineptitude.
- Creator Alan Zweibel (It's Garry Shandling's Show) flicks in
- a few satirical jabs at TV, but mostly he seems tuned to
- another channel. The characters are so woozily out of focus
- that after two episodes one still can't tell whether Bobby is
- supposed to be simply naive or mentally retarded. Or why Gayle,
- the TV pro, keeps having spats with him in front of a
- nationwide audience. Or why, when he rents an apartment directly
- opposite hers, she doesn't at least draw the shades. Or why...awww, never mind.
- </p>
- <p> Vampires, for all the mayhem they cause, are pretty boring
- people. It probably sounded like a good idea on paper: Dark
- Shadows, a daytime hit on ABC in the late 1960s, resurrects
- itself as an NBC prime-time series. Ben Cross (Chariots of
- Fire) plays Barnabas Collins, the mysterious "cousin from
- England" who shows up at the Collinwood estate and sets about
- relieving various relatives and townspeople of their red cells.
- Producer/director Dan Curtis (who did the original show) has
- given the series a dark, somber look and a high-toned cast that
- includes Jean Simmons as the Collins family matriarch.
- </p>
- <p> But the new Dark Shadows is drained of blood well before
- Barnabas bares his fangs. The pace is funereal; the plot
- twists, pure gothic boiler plate. There's the fresh-faced
- governess who arrives at the mansion to tutor an eerily
- disturbed child; the slow-witted groundskeeper who is enslaved
- by the vampire (paging Dwight Frye); the 200-year-old paintings
- that--gasp!--bear a striking resemblance to present-day
- folk; the baffled reaction of doctors and police to mysterious
- deaths in the town ("Looks like some kind of wild animal tried
- to tear her throat out"). Cross has a suave-but-menacing manner
- so transparent that it wouldn't fool the family cat, and his
- tortured pleas for sympathy are unconvincing. "I cannot help
- myself!" he cries at one point. Excuses, excuses.
- </p>
-
- </body></article>
- </text>
-
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